Sunday, October 14, 2012

The Borborygmus Bellyache


It just so happened that last week was, in fact, the homecoming week of my senior year. Going to a small town in the Midwest, my school has undeniably obnoxious school spirit. We are all very proud of our hometown and its school. Therefore, on spirit days every class and many of the teachers all dress up to celebrate this school wide holiday week. Last Thursday, the dress up theme was “Class Color Day.” The senior class’s color was, incidentally, white. Can you guess what all twenty-one of us wore?

I doubt that you guessed it. We all wore togas. It’s quite a sight to see twenty-one students parading around a school dressed in ancient Greek attire. While my class and I are all decked out in our white clothing, I start thinking of the most awful things that could happen that day. “What if we have spaghetti for lunch?” I ask my best friend, Alba*, grinning. Her response was a friendly snort and an “Oh man, that would really suck.” Can you guess what was for lunch that day?

Yep. Spaghetti. I totally called that one, and I had not even looked at the menu for the week. How convenient that the school would serve such a threateningly messy meal the day that my entire class wore white. This is the first humorous event with which my Wednesday presented me. Now I must enlighten you with the story relating to this clever, alliterated title of mine.

My senior class leader (and my AP English e-mentor), Mrs. Spencer*, was adorned in a wholly immaculate (no pun intended) white suit as well. (No toga for this diva!) She found the humor in this situation, but seemed like she really needed to get going, so I headed off to class.

That afternoon during AP English, my e-mentor announced that the word of the week had been changed from “ostentatious” to “borborygmus”. Mrs. Spencer looked straight at me as she broadcasted this change, and told me that she had done this especially for me. Me, having the utmost average of all vocabularies had to look up the definition. (For those of you who do not know what this word means, it has to do with being gassy due to uncomfortable digestion.)

I had to laugh as soon as I read what the word meant, because it seemed like such a random subject to me. Why had she specifically pointed out to me that she had changed the word because of me? On my inquiry of this very matter, she told me what was happening when I had spoken to her that morning. Mrs. Spencer said to me, “I was having personal issues, and you would not stop talking about dang spaghetti!” I of course found this really funny that she would admit this to my entire AP English class. I can now honestly say that I will always remember the meaning of borborygmus.

When I finally got home that night from school, my mom informed me that my Jack Russell Terrier, Jake**, had climbed up on the table during the course of the day and eaten an entire loaf of bread. I could only laugh as she explained how she had to let him out over and over because of his digestion process. “He is probably going to need to go outside a lot during the course of the night,” Mom said. I groaned internally knowing that because he slept with me, I would be the doorman for this pooch full of poop. (Thankfully, Jake and I both slept through the night without any unpleasant circumstances). However, when I went to bed, I could hear my borborygmus baby dog falling asleep next to me. I smiled and chuckled and thought only of Mrs. Spencer.

Needless to say, my e-mentor found this story to be a hoot. On another note, you need not fear my fellow readers. Most of the togas completely survived lunch last Wednesday despite the uncharacteristic circumstances.

*Names changed 
**Names not changed

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